Sitting down to try and write a novel wasn't as simple as sit, type, done. Oh, no. After I had the dream that inspired my storyline, there was about three months of internal doubts and fear to deal with at just the thought of attempting such a feat. But it didn't stop the fact that I was consumed with the flow of thoughts, writing down every idea that popped into my head, and compiling my notes. Some notes were hand written, some typed, some on scraps of paper that I had grabbed in the middle of the night when my mind was overwhelmed with ideas and I didn’t want to forget them.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
My first time
Before I sat down to actually try to start writing book one I rummage through all my notes and organize them as “B1”, “B2”, “B3”, etc. These stand for book one and book two and so on. Then I’d put the bullet notes in the order I thought I wanted them to go. Each bullet representing a chapter or paragraphs in a chapter within the referenced book I intended to write. I knew from the start there would be at least four books in The Deceiver series, but it has since developed into more. It is more probable that there will be five or six.
It was thrilling to experience the never ending flood of ideas that bubbled up from my mind and came crashing in like wave upon wave into my conscious mind. The flood gates had been opened, and could not be stopped. And I didn’t want them to stop. If ideas came that I didn’t know a lot about in the real world, I’d make a note to research and investigate them further later on. Some of them I had to research right away to see if the hunches and leading in my gut had been accurate. Most of the time, they were.
I felt like I was being led by the spirit of God into areas and depths I hadn’t conceived of before. It was elating and almost like a runner’s high. Well, technically I guess it’s a writer’s high. The adrenaline and surges of excitement would wash through me when I’d have a really good idea that I knew pushed the story into directions I hadn’t foreseen, but were absolutely perfect for my characters and the development of the storyline.
I remember the first day I actually grabbed my laptop and sat down to start writing book one. The notes and preliminary research were well on their way and could no longer be an excuse to prolong the inevitable. The story needed to be told, to be written. And I was the only one who could, and should do it. I had a choice. Sit down, buck up, woman up, and start writing damn it. Or, never start, never try, and live with the what if and regret it for the rest of my life.
The choice was simple. I HAD to write this book. It was consuming my thoughts, invading my dreams and boiling up from within me a passion and hunger to write and also gain knowledge that I hadn’t had in years. I couldn’t let the fear of “what if I never finish the book” stop me from even starting it. I couldn’t let the fear of “what if I suck and no one wants to publish it” influence me. I had to choose that even if I never got published, I would write it for me. And I couldn’t let the thought of “what if I can’t do this” take away my desire to try something new and something I knew would be great.
You always have a choice. You can follow your dreams and passion and see where they lead you. Or you can let fear, insecurity, and the discouraging opinions of others cripple you from ever pursuing your dreams. God has placed within each of us a talent or a gift of some sort. Some people have many, some just a few. But we ALL have at least one! Find out what yours is and use it! Develop it. Learn more about it. Love it. Love yourself enough to try it. That’s exactly what I had to do.
I started writing on March 16th 2010. I was literally a nervous wreck. My palms were moist, and my hands were slightly trembling. This was it. The start of a new journey. I felt the weight of it on me, and knew it was the true beginning of a change in direction for my life. I had to muster up the courage to start typing. I’m not kidding. I honestly sat there for about ten minutes getting up the nerve to start.
I bowed my head and I prayed. I asked God to lead me as I wrote. To bring creativity and fresh new ideas and insights. To fill me up with truth and let these books touch people in some way, on some level. After all, everyone has something they’re looking for, a place within them that needs to be touched. And everyone has a story of their own. I wanted these books to talk to my readers on some level they could relate to while at the same time, give them a moment of mental escape from their everyday lives and give them what books are best for, some pure entertainment.
That first day I wrote about ten pages and I was thrilled! It had all gone pretty smoothly once I had actually started typing. I had broken the ice. The instant I finished writing on day one, many of my doubts fell away. I still had some that clung to me, but as the book progressed in the months that followed, so did my confidence. Having a small network of close, loving and supportive people cheering me on was a life line of hope and encouragement for me.
I’ll wrap up today’s blog just by saying that it’s just as important to follow your dreams and passions as it is to have supporters to cheer you on. If you have people in your life that discourage you, tear you down, or mock your ambitions, then don’t include them in your plans and learn to keep you dreams to yourself. It really will help you feel happier, stay focused, and follow through.
Thank you for reading. Have a great night! May God bless all you put your hands to.
R. J. Machado De Quevedo
(Follow me on Twitter @TheDeceiverBook )